Spaz ([info]spazishness) wrote,
@ 2005-10-20 20:54:00
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Current mood: excited

Do it!
Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me abut your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me how much you hate me. How much you love me. Tell me anything.

Post anonymously. Speak honestly, because there isn't any censure here. Post as many times as you like. One faceless wonder to another.

And then, pass it on.


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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 01:13 am UTC (link)
You're frustratingly pretty. I think you're quite possibly the coolest. Ever.

~End

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 01:31 am UTC (link)
I wish so, so much that I was like you. You're so beautiful, so confident, you don't sit cowering in a corner, wanting to talk to peopple, but afraid they'll hate you if you do.

I probably would be more popular if I wasn't such a coward. But I am. I'm afraid to talk to people; afraid they'll hate me for spewing out my dumb shit.

And the worst part is...they probably would.

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 01:34 am UTC (link)
I...




like pie.

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 01:38 am UTC (link)
I'm not really a violent person.

I just never really learned how to deal with anger nonviolently.

When I'm backed into a corner, I have nothing else to fall back on.

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 02:07 am UTC (link)
(I posted this, but it seems to have dissapeared. Odd. Anyway, I'm posting it again)

I'm not really a violent person.

I just never really learned to deal with anger in a nonviolent way.

So when I get backed into a corner, I have nothing else to fall back on.

It's not like I want to...in fact, I hate it. I wish I wasn't like this.

But I am.

And my friends wonder why so many people hate me...

(Reply to this)

I BUY TEH COMPANY
(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 03:04 am UTC (link)
I'm always complaining about her, but I seriously doubt I'll ever leave that stupid bitch. GRRRR *pulls out hair in frustration*

...that's not really a secret, but I couldn't think of anything else to say...

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 03:15 am UTC (link)
I had sex with a cow once.

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 05:10 am UTC (link)
Christians... are silly things. And often hurtful too....

...Rather like Children.

As a rule, I detest children. All instincts tell me to detest Christians too. I mean real hard-core bible-belters. But I don't, strangely enough. I think I forgive more than those who tell us to be forgiving, lest we need be forgiven ourselves. I also think I have more mercy than the people who tell us we need beg for mercy and/or to be merciful.


Christians... are hurtful things....

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 05:29 am UTC (link)
I wish I was my self again. I wonder what happened and how I got this way. Why have I backed myself into a corner of doom, gloom and self destruction? Why can't I just be me.....

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 06:21 am UTC (link)
I find it hard to sleep at night, I'm so afraid.

I feel depressed sometimes, but I don't want to be, I want to be a cheerful, hyperactive person like everyone thinks I am, but they think that because I'm so cheerful and like to joke and muck around alot, that I'm stupid. There was a girl in one of my classes who'd say, 'Ugh, I wish you wouldn't be so WEIRD. That's why I'm mean to you, you know.'

She said sorry last term, but though the wounds are gone, the scar's still there.

(End emo crap)

(Reply to this)


(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 08:23 pm UTC (link)
When people tease me, I pretend to laugh it off.

But it actually continues to bother me for a long time.

I wish I could blow it off like other people, but I can't.

I'm too nice to people, I act like their friend, then I talk about them behind their back because I HATE them. I have alot of "friends" like this, but I only like about five of them.
YOU are by far, one of the few I can say absolutely nothing bad about. You are a beautiful, wonderful, sincere person and I absolutely LOVE you for that.

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-04 10:28 pm UTC (link)
I thought I had gotten over it.

But sometimes, after I eat,


I still make myself throw it all up

And I'm happy afterwards.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(Anonymous)
2005-10-06 01:53 am UTC (link)
Me too

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-01-06 03:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xhoshi_tenshix, 2006-02-05 03:08 am UTC
My biggest regret
(Anonymous)
2005-10-05 12:46 am UTC (link)
My father committed suicide. I couldn't stop him, I couldn't stop him from hurting. I lost my biggest support, the one I went to for the times that I was hurting. I should have said something. Maybe if I had he'd still be here. Instead he took his life without leaving us a note. I'll never know. It's just not fair.

Who will walk me down the aisle when I get married?

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-05 01:53 am UTC (link)
I always pretend that I'm better and don't SI anymore, but the truth is...I still do, I'm just better at hiding it now. I force myself to take freezing showers and stand there until my fingers turn blue and I'm to the point of collapsing. I burn my inner thighs with a straightening iron because I'm ashamed of that part of my body. Sometimes I don't eat for days at a time, not just because I want to be skinny, but because I feel like I don't deserve to eat [or live].

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(Anonymous)
2005-10-08 09:06 pm UTC (link)
...I think this person needs help before they die...

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2005-10-13 03:29 am UTC (link)
you think after hospitalization you'd want to get healthy and gain back the weight, but i don't. I'm incredibly selfish.

I feel very ugly. and i hate when people tell me how cute i am when i pretend to love it. i'd rather people saw of skinny i am. because i'm that shallow.

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-19 12:23 am UTC (link)
My problems are nothing compared to others.

I have trouble doing what I want to do, and not worrying about what people will think.

I wish I could just live life and do what I think is right. But I second guess myself.

This feels pitiful compared to others....

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(Anonymous)
2005-10-22 11:53 pm UTC (link)
I suffer from agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house), social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, depression and bi polar disorder. I haven't left my house in almost a month, maybe more. I'm trapped. I feel like I've been dealt a prison sentence. Sometimes I open the blinds a little and watch as people walk their dogs, as kids play in the street, couples ride their bikes. I stand there watching and crying. I want to belong, I want to have friends, I want to be normal again. I wish I had never done drugs, that's what brought this on. I'm so young, so full of life, I could be such a good friend or lover to someone, but I hide in my house. I don't want people to see me. I'm scared of them seeing me, I feel like I'm always being judged or that I'll be attacked or hurt...my DEEPEST secret is...when I was 18, I was kidnapped and raped for 3 days. That might have something to do with my problems as well. One day I'll break free.

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(Anonymous)
2005-11-07 09:34 pm UTC (link)
i love my best friend more than anything in the world.
and last night he said he was going to kill himself.
i feel so selfish, worrying about myself losing him. but i honestly care so much about him, and i don't know how to let him know. i feel like i should be like him, more relaxed about death and living. but i feel like it may be all i have, this life.
my mom died when i was 12, three years ago, and i don't think it affected me the way it should have.
i don't respond to death the right way.

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(Anonymous)
2005-11-18 10:50 pm UTC (link)
I want you.
Seriously, I want to fuck you. You have NO IDEA.

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(Anonymous)
2005-12-11 12:45 am UTC (link)
smoke pot. :-)

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[info]supress_my_soul
2005-12-14 02:13 am UTC (link)
add me or die!

it's maren btw.. the chick with the warm tits hahaha

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(Anonymous)
2005-12-19 04:38 am UTC (link)
when i get too much stimulation - too hot, too loud, too bright, too many people - i check out. it's more than just normal spacing out. i can't focus my eyes, sounds are muted down, i can't really control what i do or say. it's like watching myself while asleep. this has always happened to me, even when i was a toddler, but recently it's been a lot worse. i get this severely whenever i'm at a party, concert, or something like it, and mildly pretty much every day in social situations. do i need to be worried? is this a problem?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]spazishness
2005-12-19 05:24 pm UTC (link)
WHOO! It sounds like you have what I have (though on a different level). It's called Sensory Integration Disorder, where your senses are all messed up and too much stimulation can make you go haywire.
Least, that's what it sounds like. Or dissociation, which is totally different and a psychological disorder (which I also have). Nonetheless, I'd get it checked out. It doesn't sound like fun.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Reply from suspended user)

[info]spazishness
2005-12-22 08:26 pm UTC (link)
It's funny because I never said you were a 50 year old man.
Get a life. Stop looking in eating disorder communities for pictures to jerk off too.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2005-12-22 07:06 pm UTC (link)
Why are you bad mouthing friends of mine in other communities? Do you have nothing better to do with your time?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]spazishness
2005-12-22 08:28 pm UTC (link)
xxstarchildxx? I wasn't badmouthing him. He was in an eating disorder community looking at pictures of underage girls, and not everyone is comfortable with that, especially when you note his other communities. I sure as hell am not comfortable with it.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2006-01-06 03:00 am UTC (link)
I'm one of your closests friends and I think you're really ugly and annoying. I can't help it. :(

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]spazishness
2006-01-06 10:26 pm UTC (link)
Don't flatter yourself. My ONLY close friend is Adam, and he doesn't have the internet right now, AND he doesn't know I have an LJ.
What a loser. Telling a friend you don't like them on LJ? Laaaame.
You're probably just Freya or something.
Hope you enjoy my ugly face in my icon. :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
(no subject) - (Anonymous), 2006-03-21 04:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spazishness, 2006-03-21 04:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spazishness, 2006-03-21 04:55 pm UTC

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